I’ve been a planner my entire life. I create goals and ideas and journal until I can’t think of anything else. It’s something I can’t help. My mind is busy and always desiring to know what’s next. What will I do when this is over? It keeps me going, but I’ve realized that there are some things you can’t plan. There are times when you just have to give up control and roll with whatever’s coming.
The past two weeks have been chaotic. Things we tried to plan just haven’t gone as expected. Movers have been more expensive, trucks have been late, things were left behind. It’s been stressful, but it’s life, and it happens. To cope with the constant changes, I’ve decided to just let go.
Let go of the idea that things will always go according to plan. I’ve let go of the concept of things being done “right.” Constantly tracking the shipments and waiting for phone calls that never came was driving me crazy until I stepped back and trusted the process. I thought “there must be a reason it’s happening this way.” So, I put my faith in God and put my energy into applying for jobs (because the working from home thing wasn’t working).
Within a few days, I heard back from a company I’d applied for, and they wanted an interview. The entire process flew by and before I knew it, I was hired. I had to end my contract with my old company and welcome something new. It was unbelievably fast and extremely difficult to explain to the team who had grown accustomed to needing me.
At first, I felt guilty for not giving them two weeks’ notice. Companies have come to expect this courtesy, but it’s not very often that they give us the same consideration. When was the last time a company gave you two weeks to get your life in order before letting you go? It not a thing. They make changes and expect you to just deal with it. Once in a while, it’s nice to give them a little shock. It’s nice to be able to say: I don’t need you as much as you need me.
It’s a freeing experience to be able to say: I’m out of here, and there’s nothing you can do about it. I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I’m daring to do something different. This might change your life, but I don’t care because I’m doing it for me.
Letting go of control and surrendering to the unknown made me feel selfish but it also made me happy. It gave me my freedom and who needs control when you have that?